It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
