Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
