I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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