lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
True strength comes from lack of pants
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize