she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
