If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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