Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
