I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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