Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
