I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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