we're blogging at a bar
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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