we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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