My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I will be naked everywhere
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
