At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
