the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
