Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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