I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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