please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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