So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
wow bdsm is so cute
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
