why didn't you poke me back
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
