I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
