quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
