I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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