i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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