Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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