Where is the hickey?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
