I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize