I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize