is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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