So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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