she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
