I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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