you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Little spoons don't ask big questions
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize