I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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