Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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