Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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