White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize