It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
