i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize