The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize