shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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