is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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