Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
