You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck appropriateness.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
