I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
