Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
