Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
