I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize