So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize