i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
