you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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