I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
