will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
