is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
