I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Porn is love you can see.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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