Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
