You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
