but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
