we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
