do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
