Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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